I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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