I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
