Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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