dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
