I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
