i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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