he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
