Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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