if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
