She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
