we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
