her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
