Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
