He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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