Capitaan dildo arrescate!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
