I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
