Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
