You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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