is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
