obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
dude. I can hear the air.
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