margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize