I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
