You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
