The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
