oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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