I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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