Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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