I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Found the puke drawer
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
