I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
