i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
