I wannas sexs uuuuu
do herpes really smell.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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