I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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