if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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