I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
