She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize