i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The chlamydia really affected his face.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
