did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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