Define "chronic" masturbator.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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