Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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