Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize