Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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