this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Four minutes until I can fart!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
