I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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