this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
