my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
