I am spending my child support on dildos
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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