It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
