idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
