I cockslap morals
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
