He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
