...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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