how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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