Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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