Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
