I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
