you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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