ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
