my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
