they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
