One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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