don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize