Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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