So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
